when you look me in the eyes.

finally, i'm starting to come into the person i truly am. im not afraid to tell people how i really feel and im not afraid to show who i really am. but because of this new found revelation, comes this curse. the topic of love and relationships is always a constant topic among people i hang with. and i dont blame them for talking about it. i mean it must be amazing... not that i'd know. but now that i've come to realize who i really am, like who i really really am; and i find myself stuck.

it never really occured to me how i really felt until the day you looked me in the eyes. and from then on, my feelings developed. everyday that you spoke to me, or even looked at me, my heart kept falling faster. your smile, your laugh, your jokes, your compassion, yourself, you... everything about you seems perfect. the way you make me smile, the way you make me feel, the way you make me laugh, the way you are, the way you understand, its just all perfect. everytime you're around i feel safe and comfortable. you make me want to be me when you're around. i'm just so happy when you're there. and i want that in my life. but guess what, i can't have that. everyday i see you, my heart smiles bigger than ever. but even though it does, i can never show you how i really feel. i try my best to hide it and it hurts me inside to do it because if i told you, you probably wouldn't talk to me ever again. its so hard, so difficult, so unfair how i can never let you know how i feel about you. but i guess thats what life is supposed to be, hard. i think its come to a point that i can say i love you. but at the same time i can't. its hard to love a person, who won't love you back. so i guess all im left to do is wait for the next best thing. but thats the thing, i dont want anything but you. i want you; and i can't have you and it hurts so bad to know that it'll never be. all i can do is wonder what could be and forget what i want it to be. i sit everyday thinking about you and i cry knowing whoever will be with you is THE LUCKIEST PERSON ever. i wish them the best and i hope they appreciate you for who you are. because i honestly know what im going to miss out on. have fun, while i sit here waiting for the day you tell me that you love me back. i love you. and thats all i can say. my heart hurts knowing it can't be, but thats the way it is. and thats the way its going to be. but when you look me in the eyes, my heart melts. and the only way to get it back together is to snap back into reality.

this time its not paz con tigo..
te amo para siempre,
MARC

ps i hope this isnt creeper status. its not meant to be.